Company's coming...

Over the years I have earned the reputation in my family as being the entertainer. “The hostess with the mostess” They have called me.  In preparation for company, I will take an entire day and CLEAN every room in the house, so that not a thing is out of place. I every Barbi in Rory’s room has a home, and don’t you dare touch it until company arrives and gets the amazing first impression I was searching for.

It’s no secret that I like to cook. It’s also no secret that Alex is the world’s fussiest eater and is impossible to impress with food. A man that loves chicken nuggets to the extent that he does is not impressed with the 4 to 5 courses you just “whipped together” ….So when I know I have company coming in and they will actually enjoy what I cook, I do it all up! I will research, find out what the incoming company likes and make sure I have all the food I need at my disposal.  For instance, I have made ribs 3 times in the last year. Each time Auntie Matt was in town visiting and the man loves ribs J Cooking for someone who says “wow, that was good”*** mmmm warms my heart ***

Prior to guests arrival I make sure my already pretty well stocked liquor cabinet is all toped up. I, being a bartender in my “pre-motherhood life”, like to be able to serve up a cocktail or shooter at a moment’s notice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is inevitable that prior to company arriving Alex and I will fight. I get tunnel vision. I see only the mess of the house, only the growing list of things that need done and only him on the couch… NOT HELPING. I will insist he help with the chorus I delegate to him, and then I will point out how he has done them wrong…. I know what you’re thinking “she’s a bitch” Trust me, Alex thinks it too. He has pretty much learned to stay out of my way prior to company arriving. It’s much better for us all, if he just to goes away and lets me do it all myself. BUT don’t let me catch you just sitting around; it adds fuel to my fire. He usually finds a project to work on, something broken to fix, or an outdoor activity with the children.  

I LOVE THAT MAN

This leads me to this weekend… This weekend WE are the company that is coming! We are the ones invading someone else’s home.  This morning when I spoke with our hostess for the weekend, she mentioned she was off work today with a sick lil girl…

I called BULL SHIT!

“Don’t you go stressing yourself out on our account” I said. This friend and I have an awful lot in common and I know she, like me, is running around like a chicken with her head cut off, making sure every detail, right down to the air mattress the children are sleeping on, is in full working order and “nice and comfy for them” she said.

Us being a family of 5, we do not become “company” very often (ok aside from in-laws house, NEVER) It’s always easier for people to come to us. So needless to say, I will defiantly be out of my element this weekend. I am always the entertainer, always the cook, always the server and always the cleaner.  Will I be able to take a step back and let someone serve me? Probably not… Will I be able to allow someone to prep and cook me a meal without interfering? Probably not… Will this be an experience and a shit ton of fun? Defiantly!!!

Stay tuned for updates from this weekend’s adventures.

I hope everyone has a great time, I am off to pack J

 

~Holly

 

 

Remember:

 

Balance... is there really such a thing???

Although I LOVE summer, I have to admit, I am a little relieved to see this one go. As the mother to 3 small children, 3 cats, a dog and a 6 foot snake this summer for me has been a very busy one.

On top of all that I run a home based business and have Alex to take care of (he's kinda needy) We also have a camper at the lake which is supposed to be relaxing, but see, the lake for me means grocery shopping for two places, triple the laundry and the responsibility of packing enough food and clothing for 5 people and a dog. As well as making sure that the animals at home are taken care of over the course of our 3 day absence.

This summer was also a summer of sports for all 3 kids. Rory had soccer and dance, Boots had Tball and Hudson played rookie ball twice a week. I am all for the kids being active and involved BUT MAN was it exhausting on me trying to keep up with all that. We also have 3600 sq. ft. , 4 bedroom, 4 bathroom house that needs to be kept clean with little to no help from any other members of my family. Not to mention the basement construction, this leads to a lot of dust and dirt making its way up stairs. Also a lot of trips for me to the hardware store to get the things on Alex's lists.

 (first day of school 2013)

 

So seeing my kids go off to school this year brought me great joy. I LOVE THEM, I REALLY Do! But the fighting, messes and constant "Mom!?-ing” that has taken place over the last 2 months is enough to send a person over the edge.

That all being said, I do find myself frustrated with the transition from summer to fall.

Summer (as crazy and busy as it is)is spent with nightly BBQs on the back deck, eating at the outdoor patio table, later evenings outside with the kids, yard chores and maintenance and then wrapped up with weekends at the lake.  The Lake insists of lazy days on the beach, camp fires and card games.

So here I sit, the mornings and nights are COLD, the days are just bearable and I am still crazy!!

We can’t eat outdoors, I am struggling to do a meal plan that does not require me standing outside freezing in front of a BBQ, the camper and lake are closed up for the season and the evenings are getting shorter and darker much earlier.  By the time I pick up with kids from school, do daily errands (post office, bank, grocery store etc.) get both boys through homework, spelling words, and reading, do some basic housework, get supper prepared and made in time for Daddy to get home from work, eat supper, get 3 kids bathed and into bed, clean up supper dishes and feed the animals, make lunches for the next day, I AM EXHAUSTED! The sad part out of all of this is when Alex gets home from work and says “Hi Baby, what’d you do all day?” I can’t come up with an answer… I spend the entire day running in circles, barley finding time to drink a cup of coffee while it’s still hot, but yet, when this question arises my answer is always the basic “oh you know,  worked, took care of the kids, made supper”  

 

(frustrated 2^nd grader, doing homework with Mom)

As a woman/Mom do we ever get the credit we deserve? Probably not… I am guessing I am not the only woman in the world that struggles to find the balance between work, house, partner and children. There is only one of me, but yet I am stretched in multiple directions all hours of the day.  

(lunches are made)

 

I love 8pm…the meals are eaten, dishes are cleaned, counters are wiped, kids are bathed and in bed, any chores not done at that point can wait until tomorrow.  At 8pm all the lights are turned off, I switch to the low light of the living room lamps and in the kitchen I ALWAYS have candles lit. I usually pour a glass of wine and plop my ass on the couch to snuggle in and watch whatever series Alex and I are hooked on at that moment or whichever reality show we are glutenly addicted to. At 8 pm my world slows and my house is quiet. I love 8pm.

 

 

 

 (Monday evening on the couch)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 So now the fall season is here in full force.  The winter doldrums are setting in and soon we will be shoveling, scraping and plowing that awful white stuff away.
 

 

(Front porch decorated for Fall)

Finding balance in the new routines of a school year with the kids is trying on my patience, but I will persevere as I always do.

I hope all of you are having a fantastic fall thus far.
Thanks for listening…

~Holly

Remember:

The difference between Facebook and reality .....

I truly believe we are all guilty of this in one way or another...
We all have a Facebook profiles.
And we all make sure it looks perfect.

I know I only post the good pics. The ones taken at the right angle, where my fat doesn't show and my hair is done. We only brag about the good things in life. Post the pictures of the great family trips you have taken. Post the pics of the wonderful meal you made. Talk about the great things you and your partner do together. To the unaccepting eye you have the perfect life. BUT.... if anyone who actually knows you, knows that you look like crap in the morning just like the rest of us. You have days where your house is a mess, your kids act like monsters and you and your partner are at each others throat.

Now "most" self respecting people do not air their dirty laundry on FB (Thank God). This leaves the rest of us to creep your daily life and see all the good in it. For us to sit and envy you. Because your life looks so much calmer and well put together then ours.
My facebook profile is just as jammed packed with happy, wonderful things just like the rest of ya's. That's why two years ago when my ex husband took his own life and made a mockery of me on FB the rest of the world was in shock.

To say Brad and I were happy together would be a lie... We faked it very well in the public eye though. Our relationship could only be described as TOXIC at best. Filled with lies and deceit . Violence and shame. We hid all aspects of the relationship from the public. Hid the horrific things from even our families. So when shit finally hit the fan in those last few months and it all came to a screeching halt. People were shocked, saddened and for the most part angry with me.

No one knew the trails and tribulations he and I had been through in those 7 years. No one seen anything other then the wonderful vacations to the Bahamas and Disney World. No one looked past our 3 beautiful happy, healthy children and thought that anything was wrong.

Now I have mentioned Alex in previous posts. He truly is the perfect man for me. Our life is "for the most part" exactly what you see on Facebook. We have a beautiful home, he is helping me raise my 3 beautiful children and at the end of the day I actually LIKE him. We look forward to spending time together and doing "nothing" with him is most entertained and fulfilled I have ever felt in life.

BUT... we do fight, we have our issues. Raising someone else's kids is challenging. No matter how much you attempt to treat them like your own there will always be the evil step parent stigma. I, coming from a more well off back ground, tend to spend money faster then we can make it. He is very closed off and unemotional most of the time and I am erratic and too emotional most of the time. These things are defiantly obstacles we over come on a daily basis and most of the time we preserver and go to bed happy and in love.

I think its important to take a step back from Facebook every once and a while. Look deeper into someone's life and know that its not always what it seems. In reality we are all dysfunctional in one way or another.   And nobody really knows what goes on behind closed doors.

~Holly

Remember:

Because I am a Mom....

It’s funny, as I sat at my kitchen table last week, paper and pen in hand, looking at the Sears Christmas Wish Book, I had a thought… It’s only the beginning of September, what am I doing looking at the Wish Book and thinking about Christmas already? Then I answered my own thought with a simple "because I’m a Mom"
Christmas as a mother takes extreme planning, budgeting, searching, hunting, and preparation to make sure that every possible detail, gift and gadget is purchased, wrapped and presented.

So I thought to myself, "what else do I do differently specifically because I'm a Mom?"

because I’m a Mom...I make at least 2 sometimes 3 different meals at supper time. I like to eat "somewhat" healthy, Alex eats VERY plain. And the kids eat like kids… so its time consuming and somewhat frustrating making multiple meals. Something I would never do if I did not have children. If I were a single woman or even just a couple, I am pretty sure we would eat out every night.

because I’m a Mom....I drive a minivan… No self-respecting woman in the 21st century wants to drive a minivan. But when you have 2 toddlers in car seats and a new born on the way, you find yourself test driving mini vans… That was me back in the summer of 2009, a 2 and 3 year oldand a baby on the way and we needed something that could hold all those car seats safely and comfortably. Now my kids are a little older mind you but I still drive that minivan. You wouldn’t believe the stuff I can fit in that thing.

because I’m a Mom...I buy comfortable shoes… It’s unbelievably depressing when I walk through the mall looking in the windows at all the sexy shoes and boots out there. But the only thing that floods my mind as a mother is "where the hell would I wear those?" They are gorgeous, crazy expansive but so impractical. As I walk off in my Birkenstock or Uggs (they go with everything) I hang my head in shame at my Mom shoes.

because I’m a Mom...I don’t even flinch at the sight of puke, poop or boogers… It’s a talent I have only acquired after becoming a mother. I have seen it all! Every color, texture, smell. In the weirdest places! Walls, beds, hair, floors, even in a pocket once. Being a mom has completely sent my weak stomach packing!

because I’m a Mom...I have also learned to eat my words, and stop judging other people and their kids. I can’t tell you how many times in the past I have said "Oh my child would never do that" or "My child would never get away with that" Trust me… at some point; your child is going to do "that", and say "that". Whether you like it or not, you are going to become "that Mom" The one you swore you never would.

So in the words of my dear friend Jaymie who hit the nail right on the head. "Life before parenthood must have been awfully boring."
I could not imagine my life without all the tears, meals, messes, tantrums, smiles, hugs, kisses, late nights, early mornings…

~Holly
This post was written to and inspired by +Jaymie Doole and her wonderful blog, that has forced me to explore my own inner thought process and attempt to write it all down... Thanks Jaym :)

Things that make me Happy Happy Happy....

Nail polish :  I believe a girl should own a ton of nail polish, in a ton of colours. Your nail polish should match your mood. Painted nails make me HAPPY  

 (my newly installed nail polish holders, in my master bath)

Christmas :  I recently found a love for this holiday. Everything about Christmas makes me HAPPY. Shopping, decorating, beautiful sights, sounds and smells around the house. And the absolute magic of it all. Something as crazy as a fat man in a red suit and his flying reindeer make my 3 children so HAPPY.
(one of two of the 2012 Christmas trees in our house)





My Kitchen : Cooking and cleaning are my way of life. I adore making messes in my kitchen. Serving prepared meals, and spending time with friends and family. My kitchen is the centre piece of my house and always our families meeting ground. Being in my kitchen makes me HAPPY
 
(messy kitchen, last weeks spaghetti night)  

 
 
The colour Purple : I am not entirely sure why, but the colour purple makes me HAPPY.
I have a purple bedroom and master bathroom, lots of purple clothes. My purple frying pan is my favorite. Surrounded in purple I am always HAPPY



Pillows : My bed is full of them (6 full size, 4 king size and 2 throw cushions) . So is my couch and most chairs in my house. They drive Alex crazy. But he loves me, so he puts up with things to make me HAPPY
 
Wine : I love wine and it makes me very HAPPY. Making it. Bottling it. Displaying it. Sharing it. Drinking it! There is not much about wine that does not make me HAPPY
 
 
(lots of wine on display in my house)

 
 
 The Lake : We spend summer weekends at the lake. We have a camper and a Seadoo there. Spending time with friends and family at the lake makes me HAPPY. Long days on the beach, drinks by the fire, Seadooing and tubing on hot days. Lazy rainy days on the couch. 100's of card games played. Going back to basics for 48 hours a week with the kids. Outdoor fun and no video games, makes me HAPPY
(Two handsome lil boys enjoying a sunny day on the dock)  

   
 


 (The cutest lil beach bum)







 (Lazy afternoon on the beach)


 

(Late night fires)

(The kids love tubing)



















My Boyfriend : Alex... he was my second chance in life. With him I have accomplished more in 2 years, then I had in the 27 years before him. He has made me a better mother, partner and all around better person. He is silly and serious. Practical and spontaneous. He puts up with a lot of my shit and calls me out when my shit gets too intense. He is exactly what I needed in my life to bring me down a few notches where necessary and bring me up a few where I lacked.  Through him I have gained family and support that I never dreamed was possible. And that makes me HAPPY





And of coarse my KIDS : I could write for days on the ways my children make me HAPPY. I will address each of them in their own separate post at some point but for now just knowing that they are HAPPY makes me the HAPPIEST a person can be.


 



I hope you have enjoyed reading about all the things that make me HAPPY. I will continue to fill in this list as my posts come. There should be a never ending flow of HAPPINESS in your life

Remember:

 

~Holly